In which the season comes to an inglorious end

"That's all we got? Six g**d*** points?"

Harry Doyle (paraphrased)

With all the fantasy football talk on the blog lately, I figured I should let you know that the dream has ended. Sandy Springs FFC, the second-highest scoring team in the 16 year history of the UFFL, went out with a whimper last week, losing to Chunky Soup in the first week of the playoffs by the punk score of 9-6.

9-6?!?

6???

That's right, Faithful Readers. Sandy Springs FFC, the second-highest scoring team in the 16 year history of the UFFL, only scored 6 points. After averaging over 32 points a game during the regular season, it all fell apart in the playoffs, as nobody scored except the kicker.

To be fair, it has been slowly falling apart for the last six weeks. After the first nine weeks of the season SFC was 8-1 and averaging almost 38 points a game. Since then, counting the playoff loss, the record was 2-4, and the scoring average was way down. Plexiglas Burress and Maurice Jones-Drew lost their scoring touches late in the season, the Patriots have been running the ball more, and I have seemingly lost my ability to decide which of my kickers will score the most points in any given week. I guess it's somehow fitting, then, that the only points scored in this fiasco were by the kicker.

When I was doing the UFFL newsletter every week I called a game in which only the kicker scored a "Chip Lohmiller" game, in honor of Ben's early-days UFFL efforts, when his kicker (and only consistent scorer) was Chip Lohmiller. This was my only Lohmiller of the season. A fine time to pay tribute to my old friend's early-1990's mediocrity. Pfaugh!

Anyway, I'm out of the playoffs after the most successful season I've ever had, statistically speaking. Watch me score 50 points the next two weeks. Sigh. Maybe I'll hire Bill Parcells to run my team next year. Oh, wait, he's gone to Miami. Never mind.